Recently, my girlfriend and myself were visiting our local Smoothie King Franchise establishment. While there, we noticed that the Smoothie King menu includes some of the most exciting and healthful products we have ever seen. I could not believe my eyes, the Spanish explorer Cortez spent his entire life trying to find the fountain of youth and yet, here it was all along on your menu! It only got better from there. Further down, I noticed that there was a Fruit Fusion. For years, scientists have been trying to find a way to make fusion energy a possibility, who would have know that fruit was the missing ingredient?
We then realized that if the great Monarch of Smoothies could work these miracles, what else could he do? You see, a few years ago my girlfriend was taking a group of orphans out on a nature hike, it was the first time they had ever seen a tree, as they were all from Detroit. Then, out of nowhere, a bear attacked them - sent into a frenzy from the sweet smell of their orphan flesh. She threw her body in front of the orphans to protect them and the bear made a vicious swipe at her. Sadly, that day the bear had taken her leg, but thanks to her hidden K-BAR military knife, she has taken his life (and added a wonderful new rug to our dwelling).
Hopefully you can see where this is going. Using your Great Lord of all Smoothies' powers, surely you could create a new Smoothie that could help her grow her leg back. The recent lifting of the stem cell research ban should aid you in your quest. Let's just say I pulled that string a little for you. If you can wield your glorious science-magic to regrow her leg, I can promise much power and wealth for your Smoothie Leader.
Please consider us,
Your two future servants of the Smoothie Overlord
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