Ehem. Anyway, here's what I really learned.
- I can skip any obligation at least three times every four months with no repercussions. More if the person in charge is old.
- All buffets are good for at least two meals. This isn't because you'll get kicked out if you sit there longer, it's because you'll get stomach cancer if you eat more then two meals at a buffet in a day. Happened to a guy I know, it was like that part in "Aliens" with the chest buster, but instead of a monster it was mashed potatoes and tumors.
- You can drink on a weeknight, as long as it's a power hour. This way you can still get some homework done. I have nothing on tailgating or anything like that. I went to Towson.
- If you're undeclared by second semester freshman year, you might as well drop out! You are a waste of your tuition dollars and your university's effort. You are clogging the system. You will get no advisor and no help picking classes. Oh wait, that was just me.
- Majoring in something useless won't get you a job, but it will get you sympathy from girls in bars. You have to be clever with this. You can't start talking about Sociology or Ethics because that shit is boring. Girls will just think you're a nerd. My Journalism degree is the perfect combination of sympathy and mysteriousness. Hope they saw "Fear and Loathing" or... maybe not. Depends how much they like early balding and hardcore drugs.
- Silent Hill 4 is a crazy ass game.
- If something drastic happens to your field while you are a student your teachers will have no idea what to do. It's both amusing and unsettling at the same time.
- Just get into medicine or something. People are always sick bro. Now come do a keg stand and stop getting all emotional on me before I call you a bitch.
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