Recently an idea for a story presented itself to me in the form of two paragraphs neatly laid out in my mind. I like to think that I've very good at starting stories but not as good actually writing them. Regardless, here is what I have to offer:
Their relationship became one that was now built on wants; and on desires. It played itself out through overly enthusiastic letters and long awkward phone calls at unusual hours. They now needed to smell, to touch, and to taste each other. Or so they liked to say.
A relationship built on denial has inherent problems. Problems that Pfc. Jimmy Parker and his recent bride Laura are learning about as they struggle to remember each other.
That's what randomly formed. We'll see where it goes, I've just been working so much I haven't had much time to write.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Animals the World Would be Better Without
Look, let's not bullshit ourselves, the world is a dangerous place. I'm just counting how dangerous we humans have made it for ourselves. What else is a car then a high velocity death machine? Then, some assholes go out of their way to make it even more deadly.
Thanks guys.
So, not counting all of the clever ways we've devised to accidentally kill ourselves, we also have to share our planet with other terrible creatures that are waiting on the sidelines for their chance to take over. Where as our teeth are supposedly getting duller, no one told sharks to not be able to rip our arms off in one try. But this isn't for sharks, not until they learn how to breath on land. Then we're fucked. Now, the list...
1. Emperor Penguins
"Penguins?" You ask incredulously. "There is certainly nothing to worry about penguins," you continue with the reassuring speech, "if anything, they're cute."
This is why the penguins are already so close to winning. I don't know if you're familiar with your local Emperor Penguin but right now he's probably beating up your kids for their lunch money. You should also check in with your local wikipedia, because an Emperor Penguin grows to about 4 feet on average. Now, that does mean there are some that logically are smaller and slightly less dangerous (but more shifty) but it also means there are some that are even bigger.
So congratulations, on a bad day (or if you're a midget) you can be beat up by a bird.
So far they have not developed the technology for mass transportation so they are stuck in Antarctica. But let me set up a possible future scenario for you:
You're a child around the age of 10 and you were just at a show with your parents. The posh theater is oddly located in the ghetto. That's okay, because your dad is a philanthropist that has thrown gobs of his money into the city, people love him. But then, you turn a corner and are confronted by multiple sets of narrow wide-spaced eyes.
A menacing squawk from the shadows lets you know they mean business. Your dad tries to reason with the strung-out birds but he reached for his wallet a little too quickly. One jumps out and plucks his eye out. they quickly convene around your parents and peck them to death, stealing everyone of value and leaving you broken, emotionally scarred and on the road to be a slightly weirder version of Batman.
How can we deal with this? Simple. Give me a lot of money, guns and like minded individuals. We can go all, "shock and awe," preemptive strike and kick their asses before evolution lets them catch up.
2. There is no two. Emperor Penguins, number one threat - to the world.
Thanks guys.
So, not counting all of the clever ways we've devised to accidentally kill ourselves, we also have to share our planet with other terrible creatures that are waiting on the sidelines for their chance to take over. Where as our teeth are supposedly getting duller, no one told sharks to not be able to rip our arms off in one try. But this isn't for sharks, not until they learn how to breath on land. Then we're fucked. Now, the list...
1. Emperor Penguins
"Penguins?" You ask incredulously. "There is certainly nothing to worry about penguins," you continue with the reassuring speech, "if anything, they're cute."
This is why the penguins are already so close to winning. I don't know if you're familiar with your local Emperor Penguin but right now he's probably beating up your kids for their lunch money. You should also check in with your local wikipedia, because an Emperor Penguin grows to about 4 feet on average. Now, that does mean there are some that logically are smaller and slightly less dangerous (but more shifty) but it also means there are some that are even bigger.
So congratulations, on a bad day (or if you're a midget) you can be beat up by a bird.
So far they have not developed the technology for mass transportation so they are stuck in Antarctica. But let me set up a possible future scenario for you:
You're a child around the age of 10 and you were just at a show with your parents. The posh theater is oddly located in the ghetto. That's okay, because your dad is a philanthropist that has thrown gobs of his money into the city, people love him. But then, you turn a corner and are confronted by multiple sets of narrow wide-spaced eyes.
A menacing squawk from the shadows lets you know they mean business. Your dad tries to reason with the strung-out birds but he reached for his wallet a little too quickly. One jumps out and plucks his eye out. they quickly convene around your parents and peck them to death, stealing everyone of value and leaving you broken, emotionally scarred and on the road to be a slightly weirder version of Batman.
How can we deal with this? Simple. Give me a lot of money, guns and like minded individuals. We can go all, "shock and awe," preemptive strike and kick their asses before evolution lets them catch up.
2. There is no two. Emperor Penguins, number one threat - to the world.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Notes From a Scrap of Paper in my Pocket
Ideas [underlined]
- animals I hate [I hate scratched out] that should die
- things America lacks
1. bloodsport
2. public bath joke
3. bear baiting
4. think of another (etc.)
- college shit (things I learned)
- [scratched this out because, "I learned," got in the way]
- fiction: easter eggs: gambling. 1st person? child - reflection. past tense
No wonder my friend thought I was a weirdo when I left that sitting out. These are all possible future posts. However, I imagined all of them when I was scrubbing the floor at work and that was the only way I was going to remember them. Proper post should be coming on Sunday.
- animals I hate [I hate scratched out] that should die
- things America lacks
1. bloodsport
2. public bath joke
3. bear baiting
4. think of another (etc.)
- college shit (things I learned)
- [scratched this out because, "I learned," got in the way]
- fiction: easter eggs: gambling. 1st person? child - reflection. past tense
No wonder my friend thought I was a weirdo when I left that sitting out. These are all possible future posts. However, I imagined all of them when I was scrubbing the floor at work and that was the only way I was going to remember them. Proper post should be coming on Sunday.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
What Happened to the Holidays?
What happened to you Christmas? You used to be different. Remember when you liked to spend time with your family? Think back, to that time when your son was more important then buying your son a Nintendo Wii.
There's so much about the, "Holiday Season," now that seems so far off from the original intentions of the grouped holidays. First, let's be realistic, this isn't about holidays, it's about Christmas. I don't see a lot of malls decked out in blue and white for Hanukkah. I don't see many people talk about Kwanzaa except either in contempt of African Americans or to make a joke about the holiday. So, is it the holiday season because we care about other people's sensitivities? No way, it's so Christmas can last from Halloween to New Years.
The Christmas Creep gets more pervasive each year. It used to be weird enough that Christmas basically starts after Thanksgiving, a full month before it started. Ah, Thanksgiving, a holiday where we celebrate the exploitation and destruction of an entire group of people by eating so much that we pass out in front of the television because the Detroit Lions can't even try to make a football game interesting. If this blog had been started a few weeks earlier a whole post could go to the pilgrims, a group of people so disliked they had to go to a new continent.
But now we have Christmas starting even earlier. It's really only one day but the, "spirit," and the, "season," are now starting even before Halloween. Who starts it? Corporations. Who allows it to happen? Us. The consumers.
Take for example, Black Friday. A day of shopping so hellish it was given a name to describe it's evils (Jesus died on Good Friday, so you figure this is even worse then killing Jesus). This day and these sales do not even need to exist. Why do they have to be one day only sales? And why do they all have to be on the same day? It seems like if you had a sale just as good on the next weekend, wouldn't everybody only come to your store.
And now, Black Friday, and the spirit of Christmas have become intertwined. Black Friday is the new Christmas. It now represents was Christmas has become. What happened to Jesus? Where does he fit in? It seems instead we've turned to a mass hysteria of consumerism.
This year it seems we've lost Christmas forever. By now it's not news that a Wal Mart employee was trampled to death at 5 am on Black Friday this year. That's terrible. But really think about it. People were so absorbed in themselves and so obsessed with shopping that they broke down the door of a Wal Mart and killed a man.
I mean, if you're part of a mob that just broke down a door and killed someone, shouldn't you be looting and rioting? That is the brilliance of capitalism. People will riot - to spend their money. Congratulations, when you've given this much power to capitalism you no longer live in a democracy. There is more outrage at someone cutting in the television buying line then when the Patriot Act was signed.
But, like the person supposedly born on the holiday we're supposed to be celebrating, Christmas can rise from the dead. What we need is a power shift, from the corporations to the consumers. We need to use a little self control. Buy less gifts, spread out our purchasing, plan as a family spending limits.
More importantly, remember what the spirit of Christmas should be about. Think of your friends and families. Spend time with them. This is the last month of the year. Cap it off with some family time, recount your favorite stories, cook and bake together, there are so many obvious things that can be done.
I'm taking back Christmas for myself. I want to enjoy it this year.
Next time I'll write something funny. That was just something I wanted to get off my chest.
There's so much about the, "Holiday Season," now that seems so far off from the original intentions of the grouped holidays. First, let's be realistic, this isn't about holidays, it's about Christmas. I don't see a lot of malls decked out in blue and white for Hanukkah. I don't see many people talk about Kwanzaa except either in contempt of African Americans or to make a joke about the holiday. So, is it the holiday season because we care about other people's sensitivities? No way, it's so Christmas can last from Halloween to New Years.
The Christmas Creep gets more pervasive each year. It used to be weird enough that Christmas basically starts after Thanksgiving, a full month before it started. Ah, Thanksgiving, a holiday where we celebrate the exploitation and destruction of an entire group of people by eating so much that we pass out in front of the television because the Detroit Lions can't even try to make a football game interesting. If this blog had been started a few weeks earlier a whole post could go to the pilgrims, a group of people so disliked they had to go to a new continent.
But now we have Christmas starting even earlier. It's really only one day but the, "spirit," and the, "season," are now starting even before Halloween. Who starts it? Corporations. Who allows it to happen? Us. The consumers.
Take for example, Black Friday. A day of shopping so hellish it was given a name to describe it's evils (Jesus died on Good Friday, so you figure this is even worse then killing Jesus). This day and these sales do not even need to exist. Why do they have to be one day only sales? And why do they all have to be on the same day? It seems like if you had a sale just as good on the next weekend, wouldn't everybody only come to your store.
And now, Black Friday, and the spirit of Christmas have become intertwined. Black Friday is the new Christmas. It now represents was Christmas has become. What happened to Jesus? Where does he fit in? It seems instead we've turned to a mass hysteria of consumerism.
This year it seems we've lost Christmas forever. By now it's not news that a Wal Mart employee was trampled to death at 5 am on Black Friday this year. That's terrible. But really think about it. People were so absorbed in themselves and so obsessed with shopping that they broke down the door of a Wal Mart and killed a man.
I mean, if you're part of a mob that just broke down a door and killed someone, shouldn't you be looting and rioting? That is the brilliance of capitalism. People will riot - to spend their money. Congratulations, when you've given this much power to capitalism you no longer live in a democracy. There is more outrage at someone cutting in the television buying line then when the Patriot Act was signed.
But, like the person supposedly born on the holiday we're supposed to be celebrating, Christmas can rise from the dead. What we need is a power shift, from the corporations to the consumers. We need to use a little self control. Buy less gifts, spread out our purchasing, plan as a family spending limits.
More importantly, remember what the spirit of Christmas should be about. Think of your friends and families. Spend time with them. This is the last month of the year. Cap it off with some family time, recount your favorite stories, cook and bake together, there are so many obvious things that can be done.
I'm taking back Christmas for myself. I want to enjoy it this year.
Next time I'll write something funny. That was just something I wanted to get off my chest.
State of Purpose and Intentent. My Formal Submission
Consider this my return to the world of public writing. There are plenty of reasons for my return, the desire to share my thoughts with the world, a chance to practice, a hope that I will inspire others but mainly because I'm bored and I need something productive to do.
In some ways, I want to consider this a journalistic endeavor. True, you're right, I should not be writing in the first person. But then again, Hunter S. Thompson did a lot of drugs. You're not supposed to do that either. I consider the state of journalism to itself be in such a state that any interest in it's pursuit should be entertained.
Basically, I'm going to do whatever I want.
So stick with me, and I'll try to stick with this. This was created in the center of an impossibly dense writer's block. This is my drill, to the center of that block. This metaphor is insane and is tragically trying to tie this all together.
I have a lot on my mind, I hope I can remember it all in time to write it down. Peace.
In some ways, I want to consider this a journalistic endeavor. True, you're right, I should not be writing in the first person. But then again, Hunter S. Thompson did a lot of drugs. You're not supposed to do that either. I consider the state of journalism to itself be in such a state that any interest in it's pursuit should be entertained.
Basically, I'm going to do whatever I want.
So stick with me, and I'll try to stick with this. This was created in the center of an impossibly dense writer's block. This is my drill, to the center of that block. This metaphor is insane and is tragically trying to tie this all together.
I have a lot on my mind, I hope I can remember it all in time to write it down. Peace.
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